Like just about everything else in  life, the concept of Single Parenthood is incredibly easy and vastly complex…

That line sounds like I’m trying to sound intellectual and be “Captain Vague” at the same time!

But in all seriousness, I was contemplating the labels and ideas we use when it comes to Single Parenting… For example, even the term “Single Parent”… If you’re reading this right now and you feel like this aligns for you, you’re probably Single and a Parent…

So what DOES a Single Parent look like?

Is it even fair to take this notion and run with it?

I mean, come on… I can’t exactly hold up a picture of a Single Parent versus someone who is married with children.

And furthermore, what if that Single Parent was going to get into a relationship? Does having a new boyfriend or girlfriend constitute you NOT becoming a Single Parent?

Of course, there are no answer for these… and really, I’m not looking for ANSWERS… I guess this is me getting “deep” on a Monday.

That being said, the idea of Single Parenting is becoming much more acceptable in general society…

It was in 1992 that then Vice-President Dan Quayle lashed out at the ficional character “Murphy Brown” for gamorizing our-of-wedlock preganancy… I mean, come on, that was a FICTIONAL show… but even the fact that a fictional show that caused a bit of controversey 16 years ago mentioned this is only a reflection of society.

In other words, just because a sit-com writer wanted to portray the “real world” they got crap for it!

In 2008 when Hillary Clinton was giving her consession speech she was talking about how the dreams we share are the dreams worth fighting for…. She mentioned “(a) Single Mom with a young daughter who juggled work and school who said I’m doing it all to better myself for her…” (at 04:19 in the link above)

And it’s not like we, as Single Parents, are looking for anything… the recognition we receive in through our families, even if we are Single Moms or Single Dads doing it alone…

Granted this is a step in the right direction for Single Parents and the way the world views them. Sometimes even just having a presense about something is important… Single Parenthood transcends looks, culture, creed or even a particular “demographic”… Single Parenting is about one thing, and one thing only… Our kids… The children we love and the children who mean, quite literally, EVERYTHING to us…

I am inspired by Hillary, I’m inspired by Barack and as a fellow Single Parent, I am inspired by YOU!

Today I finished a new video about Communication for Single Parents…

The story goes a little like this… The other day a friend and I were talking… He’s a Single Dad too, but he’d just received a pretty angry text message from him Ex. He was really shaken up by it and he was adding all kinds of crazy meanings to it and was visibly frustrated.

After talking for a bit, we decided to get some clarity around it… and rather than completely dissect it, we decided that we were going to get this “handled”… What we came up with was a pretty cool idea, and that was to put the situation into the “third person”… this way, we were able to translate exactly what happened for WHAT IT WAS, not what he (or myself) were MAKING out of it.

I go into greater depth in the video, but check it out for yourself…

Talk to you soon,

Today I did another great video! Today’s video is about Single Parent relationships…

I read some mail and blog posts from the Super Single Parenting website that are related to relationships… and both from unique points of view… one from a younger single mother wanting to start a relationship with someone and one from a single father who is struggling with his Ex-wife being with another person.

We really can learn alot through our sharing and dipping into the mailbag is a way I can share with you.

You can check out my video on YouTube or you can subscribe to my Podcast.

As we’re learning through our sharing, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way.

Talk to you soon,

 

 Single Parenting Tips - Relationships Mailbag: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

As Single Parents, we have one thing in common… We are raising children on our own.

And I’ve acknowledged before that each of our situations is unique and special.

Today I wanted to talk about something ELSE that is unique and special.

And that’s what I’m going to call your “genius”.

Your “genius” is something that is unique and special that you do… It’s something that you are a MASTER of and something you LOVE to do.

Yeah, sound pretty BIG eh?

Not really, because if you’re passionate about something, it’s never going to be too “big”.

It could be parenting… It could be playing a musical instrument or attending seminars. It could be computers or photography… There is something that you love to do that you’re good at.

So, start off by asking yourself what you’re good at…

Got it?

Good.

Now mentally list the aspects about it that you’re good at… If its, say, playing guitar are you a classical player or do you like rock? Are you good at the blues or the oldies?

Okay, now that you’ve determined where you’re at, now think about where you want to be.

Is there any aspect of your “genius” that you’ve always wanted to do?

Sticking with the example of playing guitar, what about learning another musical instrument… maybe something without strings like the piano or the sax?

This might sound like a little bit of a stretch, but it’s something worth considering.

Why?

If you are in touch with your “genius” you can find ANYTHING.

…And I know this is a big claim, but I want to say that again just to make sure you read it correctly…

If you are in touch with your GENIUS you can find ANYTHING!

Yes, the reference is subtle and this might sound like a little bit of a stretch, but follow me here.

Let me preface what I’m about to say with the fact that the vast majority of people out there don’t KNOW their “genius”… that we get… but the feeling that I’ve got from many people is that they don’t want to even KNOW their “genius”.

And this to me is sad… (and also a generalization)…

Remember how I talked about your Path and your Purpose?

Well, your “genius” is a bit like that…

Once you find it, you’ll know it. And once you align it in your life, you’re going to really ROCK it!

So, how can finding your “genius” apply to you?

First off, if you can find employment using your “genius”, you’re going to love not only your LIFE, but your JOB!

So many people are resigned to work a job they don’t like or constantly telling themselves that something better is going to fall into their laps… and while I’m ALWAYS for thinking in the positive, this is something that only YOU have control over.

Secondly, as I mentioned before, your alignment with your “genius” will yield powerful results with very little energy.

Maybe you don’t even KNOW what your genius is yet… And if this is the case, don’t fret…. Your “genius” will come to you… And chances are you won’t even know it at the time.

So, as your discovering your own genius remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way.

I’ll talk to you soon,

Today I uploaded a new video about how to get along with your Ex-Partner… In fact, it’s actually 4 tips for talking about ANYTHING to them…

In the video I describe how to not look to others for your happiness, how to accept everything the way it is, remember that i’s never about YOU and how to give up being “right”…

These are 4 gems I discovered that I HAD to share with you…

Like the rest of my Podcasts, you can check it out on YouTube or subscribe to my Podcast.

As you’re talking to your Ex, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!

Talk to you soon,

 

 Single Parenting Tips - How To Talk To Your Ex About Anything: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I have a question for you…

When are you most creative?

In the past I’ve written about Morning Motivation and how preparing for your day can boost you from average productivity to a powerful day…

And I must confess… at WORK I’m not horribly creative…

As I’ve mentioned before, I work in the world of IT and things like DNS and adjusting server notifications don’t lend themselves to being horribly creative things…

That being said, I’ve obsevered a few interesting things that I associate with being creative.

But before I get into those I wanted to define creativity…

And for me, it’s really on two levels. The first level is what I’m doing now… writing. I love to write and I love to teach, so I lump both of those into what I call “creativity” for myself. The second level of creativity is with my daughter… Since my daughter lives with me, it’s a never-ending song, dance or way that we put on clothes… We make EVERYTHING fun!

So, really, my observances are a bit more personal… They are for the first level of creativity I just described… the “writing” or “art” place in my life. (I’ll talk about that second level of creativity in another blog).

The first is coffee… I live in the Pacific Northwest and Coffee is kinda a big deal up here.

I always associate having black coffee with writing and working on my website…

The second is not having shoes… or specifically, being barefoot.

There really is something liberating about not wearing shoes and socks… maybe it’s a subconscious thing that keeps me “grounded”… who knows?

I don’t want to “read into” this too much, in other words, I don’t think these are things that directly MAKE me creative… I really believe that we’re all creative people on the inside.

And don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I take off my shoes and socks at a coffeeshop if I am writing! ha ha!

But the reason I mention these is simply out of observation.

In other words, these are things that I ‘naturally’ do when I’m at the peak of my creativity… Things that I don’t even think about, but that happen on a regular basis.

I also noticed that I tend to get more creative things done in the morning. It tends to give me a good feeling about starting the day remembering that I created something… It doesn’t matter if it’s a Podcast or a blog entry, it’s something that I did that helps others!

So, when are YOU most creative? Have you noticed that at a certain time of day?

Do you have a tendancy to actually DO something, like drink a favorite glass of juice or eat a power bar?

The reason I ask this, and the reason I am sharing, is so that we can learn from each other… We can take bits and pieces of what works for other creative minds and other Single Parents and make them out own.

As you’re being your TRUE creative Self, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way!

I’ll talk to you soon,

Oh yeah, check out my YouTube site… I put up a new video the other day about investing for your children!

I put up a new video the other day on YouTube about investing for your child…

In the video I discuss the UGMA as an alternative to a traditional “college fund”, why financial education is important to kids and the importance of a Will…

I’m not an expert when it comes to investing, but I have done my homework and wanted to share what’s worked for me.

You can check it out below, on YouTube, or (better yet) subscribe to my Podcast and get it right when it comes out!

Enjoy this video about investing for your child.

I’ll talk to you soon,

 

 Single Parent Tips - Investing For Your Child: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The other day I created a new video…

It’s all about why Single Moms are more fun to date!

You can watch is below or check it out on YouTube!

Hope you’re having a good week!

Talk to you soon,

 

 Why Dating Single Moms is More Fun!: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Have you ever been presented with a challenge that seemed like it was IMPOSSIBLE to over come?

Have you ever instantly jumped into “reaction” mode because you didn’t think there was anything else to do?

I know I have…

But then you actually go through the thing and you say to yourself “man, that wasn’t that big of a deal?”

This might sound like a relatively simple idea, but keep one thing in mind when a new challenge arrives: You are seeing it from YOUR perspective.

No one elses…

Others might have INFLUENCE on you… Like when you get that tiny little “fear rush” when a friend says “…wow, I couldn’t deal with something like that…” or your Mom says “…that sounds like it’s really hard…”

And then you get through the situation or the challenge and you say to yourself “Gosh, that was no big deal!”…

Well, what if you were at a place where you didn’t even need to go through the questioning in the first place? Wouldn’t that be a great place to be?

What if you were able to simply deal with things powerfully and from a perspective that was actually outside of the immediate scope of the problem or challenge?

So, what’s the “secret sauce”? Is it just self-confidence or having enough self-awareness that you are doing what you’re doing?

Here’s what works for me…

It’s confidence in your own skin and comfort in knowing who you are.

If you are comfortable with yourself it really shows when you talk (and interact) with others… and it allows you to calmly observe a situation even if your in the middle of it.

With these two pieces, you can objectively look at just about any situation, assess it for what it is and deal head-on with **reality**.

Let’s take a tough example… (At least this was a tough one for me)…

My ”ex” starts to date someone else… I meet this other person, but then the voices in my head start talking and saying “she’s comparing me to him” or “he looks really great, I wonder if…”

All of this happens in my subconscious by the way, and I have little control over it… This is part of being human…

I then start to make this mean something that it doesn’t… I start to look at the dating relationship and be sad for myself that I’m not in one… or maybe my “comparison” starts to make it about ME rather than what it really is about…

Whoa… hold on for a minute…

You see how quickly I started the “death wobble on the skateboard”…?

It’s at this point confidence and comfort NEED to kick in… Take a deep breath and think about what just happened.

Just because my “ex” is dating someone else, doesn’t mean I’m a bad person. It also doesn’t mean that they aren’t still, in some way, attracted to me… It doesn’t mean that I’m not good looking and it doesn’t mean any of the stuff that I automatically started thinking about.

It’s really just two people dating… and that’s it.

Nothing more and nothing less…

It’s this level of being able to think that will really set us apart from the rest of the Single Parents out there.

You see, by simply stopping and really seeing the sitiation for what it was you were able to avoid the imaginary… The imaginary, in this example, being what my “ex” was thinking and what I was attaching meaning to.

What if you had this skill when dealing with your children?

What if you had this the first time they went to school? Or lied to you?

And if you think about it, this really can apply to your entire LIFE!

So, to recap, continue to work on the comfort with yourself and your confidence. Once you become a master at this you can calmly deal with anything that life throws your way, be able to step outside of a problem or challenge, and observe what’s really happening… and in most cases, it’s far, far less than what we think it is.

As you’re avoiding the imaginary and dealing head on with reality, remember that we’re in this together, learning lessons along the way.

Talk to you soon,